#629
+
(47)
-
[X]
ZP's Yatzee once pointed out
what shooters should be all about:
Weapons that freakin'
shoot lightning shuriken
and gameplay with more than one route.
#628
+
(24)
-
[X]
A handsome New Yorker named Pete
Had Manhattan Island-shaped meat
His girl gave him face
Starting down at Park Place
Then gagged at Two-hundred-tenth Street
#627
+
(30)
-
[X]
A man in a Russian prefecture
Uploaded an internet lecture
On manifolds smooth
And by accident proved
The fucking Poincare Conjecture
#626
+
(27)
-
[X]
I hate vi and emacs with passion,
To their users I grant no compassion.
If I want RSI
In my fingers then I
Will get out a hammer and bash 'em.
#625
+
(109)
-
[X]
The Polish postfix code went through
But the parser knew not what to do
For unlike in Prussia
In Soviet Russia
2 42 + equals YOU!
#624
+
(72)
-
[X]
a young boy was filled with elation
trying to solve a quadratic equation
but he only wrote "b"
(dropped the negative, see?)
and henceforth twas merely frustration
#623
+
(135)
-
[X]
Do all of you not get the verse?
An iamb, two anapests first,
then repeat, then two lines
each with an'pests two times,
then one more line just like the first!
#622
+
(-44)
-
[X]
On Wikipedia, changes were needed,
so I made some and now if you read it,
To all of Bush's quotations
I added emendations:
They're followed with [citation needed].
#621
+
(59)
-
[X]
For a long time there's been no submission
Which leaves me without a volition
From being so bored
I am forced to record
Stupid rhymes without any ambition
#620
+
(63)
-
[X]
Mechanic and Captain discuss
The bomb someone set them up thus
When signal they got
CATS revealed his plot
saying "All your base are belong to us."
#619
+
(60)
-
[X]
public void Addline (String[] some_rhymes) {
try {poem.add(some_rhymes[numline]);
numline += 1; }
catch (Exception is_done) {
Window.alert("Crashed at runtime"); } }
#618
+
(-65)
-
[X]
There once was a man from Morocco
Who fancied himself a taco
He sat on a plate
And what was his fate?
Ate by a young man named Paco
#617
+
(42)
-
[X]
Your sesquipedalian antic;
confused by it, people grow frantic!
Your words, though capacious,
are somewhat rapacious
and often come off as pedantic.
#616
+
(47)
-
[X]
N00bs think that speaking in 1337
Will ensure they face never defeat.
However, I say
Queen's English's the way
And...z0|\/|g 1 \/\/45 \/\/r0|\|g, 73|-|5 15 5\/\/337!
#615
+
(51)
-
[X]
There was once a person anonymous
Whose handle was indeed eponymous.
He submitted a ditty
Which was rather quite witty
And was signed with the seal of Anonymous.
--Anon. :)
#614
+
(-4)
-
[X]
Near economic collapse,
Our government's judgement does lapse.
They spend tons of money,
Pretending it's sunny,
And his pants the poor taxpayer craps.
#613
+
(139)
-
[X]
Mario loves Princess so deeply;
He saves her from harm at least weekly.
But what would he do,
If Mario knew,
She was banging his brother Luigi?
#612
+
(-36)
-
[X]
Thinking is a wonderful craft
But some folks it seems got the shaft
If that's not clear
It seems I fear
You too, are mentally short staffed
#611
+
(-69)
-
[X]
There's a song about Freakazoid!
It also mentions Sigmund Freud
It's stuck in my mind
Sadly I cant find
A different song to be deployed
#610
+
(-28)
-
[X]
I find that I put too much stock
In poems that should be about cock
Rhymed philosophy
Has no place, you see
In limericks which are meant to mock
#609
+
(-2)
-
[X]
I wonder about my own fate
I really dont want to just wait
Show me What's in store
I need to know more
Else I'll surely find out too late
#608
+
(1)
-
[X]
Now curiously pondering life
Get a house, a career and a wife
Then maybe a kid
But see, God forbid
Any progress without thrice the strife
#607
+
(13)
-
[X]
Downtime at work is such a drag
Boredom causes brainfarts and lag
My mind is now raving
For I have this craving
AFK BBS need a fag
#606
+
(16)
-
[X]
My boss just left to go get lunch
And I have a justified hunch
She'll be gone for a while
So I think that I'll
Fuck around on the net a bunch
#605
+
(5)
-
[X]
cartoons as a kid were a blast
but sadly that time has long passed
what fucking git
wrote all this new shit
brain-dead fuckery to the last
#604
+
(14)
-
[X]
I want to write Google a poem
If I knew the makers I'd blow 'em
If you've in your mind
Some sites you need find
Chances are Google will know 'em
#602
+
(7)
-
[X]
writing limericks on the clock
i'm bored and my boss is a cock
it's something to do
i need something new
i'm under hard place, over rock
#601
+
(26)
-
[X]
the net is a series of tubes
congress is a big room of boobs
orwell wrote the book
which congress then took
and made us all reach for our lubes
#600
+
(-125)
-
[X]
Once there was a man named Wang,
who was familiar with teh 1337 slang.
Fighting against the Terrorists
Sadly, he was a team-killing specialist
FLASH BANG!
#599
+
(-16)
-
[X]
forgetting to sleep is a pain
after a while you go insane
mind goes awry
roll eyes and sigh
when work asks you to use your brain
#598
+
(-23)
-
[X]
impaled on the end of my bone
your mother let out a small moan
ram after ram
unsteady cam
to fap again later alone
#597
+
(-6)
-
[X]
the mods here are getting quite lax
potential content turns to stacks
for weeks at a time
we see no new rhyme
waiting and playing with our sacks
#596
+
(59)
-
[X]
Great works of literature: Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell (1949)
There once was a man from strip one
who's older sibling was no fun
so he went and got laid
by a girl he betrayed
in dreaded room one zero one
#595
+
(17)
-
[X]
I've heard of a foreign nation
where all students suck at dictation
when you ask them why
they will surely reply
that the spelling was lost in translation
#594
+
(20)
-
[X]
A man went to church to repent
He was told, "give up liquor for Lent."
"But liquor is quicker!"
He proclaimed to the vicar
And off to the pub they both went
#593
+
(-17)
-
[X]
I've been told my rhyming is dreadful
On a ten point scale, its decimal
My ex-girlfriend admits
on a ten point scale, "it's
probably infinitesimal".
#592
+
(303)
-
[X]
I think words are ambrosial and mystic
I get tongue-tied when told, "Be simplistic."
I don't mean to make louche rhymes,
or to act like a douche -- I'm
just lexiphanicistic.
#591
+
(16)
-
[X]
When I heard of Lim'rick DB,
I thought to share lim'ricks for free;
Though when I submit,
I throw quite a fit,
Because the dumb website won't let me.
So now in the dead of the night,
I'll make them aware of my plight;
I'll send in my poem,
And then I can show 'em
At last who's wrong and who's right.
An Irate Poet.
#590
+
(0)
-
[X]
I may not have a rhyming parameter,
Or a brain that's of massive diameter;
And yet still there are harder forms,
With less flexible norms.
One example: iambic pentameter.
#589
+
(47)
-
[X]
Re: #25
Another young man from Australia
Wrote a limerick that was no failure,
Though in the fifth line
He didn't decline
Abstruse verbal paraphernalia.
#588
+
(423)
-
[X]
There was a young lad from Duntroon
Who was born about three months too soon.
He hadn't the luck
To be born from a fuck,
But a wet dream transferred with a spoon
#586
+
(2)
-
[X]
My poppin is under the floor
The floppin' has come to the fore
The drab and the dull
The crab and the skull
The Dali, the clocks, and the bore.
#585
+
(7)
-
[X]
There once was a monk from Nigeria,
Whose moral standards were inferior.
One night, just for fun,
He slept with a nun,
And now she's a Mother Superior!
#584
+
(20)
-
[X]
There was a young fellow named Hector,
Who was fond of a launcher-erector.
But the squishes and pops
Of acute pressure drops
Wrecked Hector's hydraulic connector.
#583
+
(9)
-
[X]
A very intelligent turtle
found fixing his TV no hurdle.
The TV, you see,
ran as slow as did he,
and so all of his efforts were fertile.
#582
+
(-33)
-
[X]
A skinny old man from Verdun
wed a short gifted son of a gun
She said, "I don't care
if there isn't much there
God knows it is better than none."
#581
+
(173)
-
[X]
I love clever linguistic connection
and a pretty young lady's affection,
while those things I adore
what I'd like so much more
is some velociraptor protection.
#580
+
(105)
-
[X]
When asked by some chap or another
if I might consent to be his brother,
I said "No, I detest
any form of incest
and I quite enjoy banging your mother."
#579
+
(25)
-
[X]
There once was a squirrel-guitar
That a dwarf did not keep in a jar
When it happen to melt
The only thing felt
Was it raised the surrealism bar
#578
+
(32)
-
[X]
Prohibition Chicago's quite glossy
Its feminine killers are saucy
Every murderess there
wears just underwear
and the dancing's all done by Bob Fosse